Billionaire to Deliver $1 Million Gifts Directly to Heating Oil Tanks
Curtis Dardlonk. (image: driedfruitmonthly.com)
An eccentric billionaire has announced his intention to give away $1 million each to five lucky residents of the Northeast in an unusual fashion—by pumping it into their heating oil tanks.
Curtis Dardlonk of Belgian Flats, NY sent out the press release announcing his giveaway early Friday morning. “It’s been a cold and wet winter for millions of Americans,” Dardlonk is quoted as saying in the press release, “and I want to give five families a surprise gift that will ensure they can cover their heating costs for years to come.” While Dardlonk’s plan to donate to heating oil users in need is hardly unique, the size and methodology of his gifts are unprecedented—a product of the magnate’s unpredictable and unconventional disposition.
According to the press release, Dardlonk has commissioned a specially retrofitted heating oil delivery truck to transport and deliver rolled-up $20 bills instead of heating fuel. Emblazoned with the name of Dardlonk’s faux heating oil company Cash Prize Heating, the truck, piloted by Dardlonk himself, will make the generous deliveries over the weekend. “Over the next two days, five households will receive the heating oil deliveries of a lifetime,” Dardlonk said.
Reached for comment, the benefactor confirmed that he would personally pump the $1 million gifts into the heating oil tanks of recipients. Asked if he had considered the damage a flood of cash could do to a heating system, Dardlonk said he was well aware. “That’s how they’ll find out they’ve won!” Dardlonk said with a laugh. “When their heater stops working, they’ll get it checked out and find a million dollars in their tank! If it breaks their system, it’ll be fine because they will be able to afford a new one,” he explained. Responding to a follow-up question about the difficulty of retrieving the cash from the tank and cleaning the bills of heating oil, Dardlonk said “that’s the part of the puzzle they’ll have to figure out themselves.”
Dardlonk, 82, amassed his considerable fortune over the last three decades through wildly successful media and marketing ventures targeted at senior citizens. He is best known as the founder and publisher of Dried Fruit Monthly, a magazine with a national circulation of 1.2 million.
Photos of Dardlonk’s million-dollar deliveries will be posted on his Facebook page as they become available.
Extreme Weather Presents Physical Challenges to Deliverers of Heating Oil
Extreme weather has made heating oil delivery drivers' job more difficult this heating season. (image: David L. Ryan/ Globe Staff via boston.com)
As yet another harsh winter storm bears down on the Northeast, the region’s heating oil delivery truck drivers are finding their physical strength and stamina tested on a daily basis. As the Connecticut Post reported on Tuesday, huge accumulations of snow and icy roads and walkways are proving to be major obstacles for overworked delivery drivers.
During times of bitter cold and high demand—which have been the rule rather than the exception in the Northeast so far this season—heating oil truck drivers squeeze 30 to 40 deliveries into a single day, working for up to twelve straight hours. This year, that high demand has coincided with massive amounts of winter precipitation. All that snow, sleet, and ice make up the oilman’s first major impediment: blocked, icy, or otherwise impassible roads and driveways. A truck that can carry 2,000 of heating oil is a big piece of machinery that requires wide roadways to operate smoothly and safely, so when piles of plowed snow narrow roads, going gets tough (and slow). Icy, sloped driveways also present serious issues for heating oil trucks. Because the trucks are filled with a hazardous material, drivers must err on the side of safety when they encounter any conditions that could lead to losing control of the vehicle.
Once out of the truck, drivers (who almost always pull out the hose and make deliveries in addition to piloting the heating oil truck) face similar obstacles. With a 150-pound hose slung over their shoulder, drivers trudge though snowy and/or ice front yards, with snow drifts this season reaching chest-high. Despite pleas from heating oil dealers, industry groups, and this website, most heating oil users do not remember to clear a path for heating oil deliveries when shoveling out their driveways and walkways. Todd Szegedy of Montanari Fuel in Ridgefield, CT told the Post,
“only about 1 percent” of his customers have been cooperating by shoveling a path to the fill pipe. “And it might even be less than that.”
Trekking through two-, three-, or even four-foot snow drifts also present the hazard of unseen obstacles like walls, fences, or poles that can be painful discoveries for deliverers of heating oil.
So before your next delivery, take some time to dig out a clear path from the driveway or street to your heating oil fill pipe—the hard working and spread-thin individuals making the deliveries will thank you. And smoother, safer deliveries also speed up the process, meaning that more of your (possibly very cold) neighbors can get their deliveries sooner.
Surprise Inspections in NJ Keep Heating Oil Truck Meters Accurate
A NJ Office of Weights and Measures official inspects the meter on a heating oil truck along Doremus Ave. in Newark. (image: Steve Sandberg via newyork.cbslocal.com)
Officials from the New Jersey Office of Weights and Measures set up outside of heating oil truck fill-up locations on Wednesday to perform surprise inspections of the trucks’ meters. The officials performed unannounced inspections of the heating oil pump meters (the machines that keep track of how many gallons of fuel are delivered to each customer) on 28 trucks to ensure they were operating accurately, the realty site Real Estate Rama reported on Wednesday.
The inspectors waited outside of two heating oil filling sites, one in Newark and one in Hamilton Township, Mercer County. Of the 28 trucks inspected, three were found to have inaccurate meters and were condemned by inspectors, meaning they are legally prohibited to make deliveries until they have been repaired, re-inspected, and cleared. Two of the condemned trucks were found to be dispensing less fuel than indicated by the meter and the third’s meter was displaying incorrect numbers on its register.
Heating oil trucks in New Jersey and most other states are inspected once a year for safety and accuracy of their meters. State officials also perform unannounced inspections to ensure that meters remain accurate between annual inspections. Acting Director of the Division of Consumer Affairs (of which the Office of Weights and Measures is a part) Thomas R. Calcagni explained the reasoning behind the surprise inspections:
Every drop of home heating oil matters, especially when prices are well over $3 a gallon and winter is far from over. Homeowners are paying the highest prices since 2008 for home heating oil and any shortchanging of consumers will not be tolerated.
